remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
