he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
