just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Randomize
