That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
