He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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