Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
