areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
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My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
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It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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