what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
