The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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