It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
