She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
