Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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