I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
