Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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