okay pat passed out under dana's car
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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