I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
