Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Is Oprah even human
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
