Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
