We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
