Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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