wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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