we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
