GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
