Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
love makes seman taste better
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
