Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
