I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
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