Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
