My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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