You just made me feel so damn special
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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