I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
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When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
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I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize