that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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