i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize