he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
