Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
