Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
