look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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