Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
