No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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