HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
