At least make sure they are 18
Why
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
what day is it and did you see me today?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
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