You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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