So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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