Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize