Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
