I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
