No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
