I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
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