I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
