It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I looked at my own cervix.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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