that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
