Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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