What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Randomize
