if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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