There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
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