ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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