We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize