Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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