He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
