just come out here and I will go home with you...
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
