I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
