I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
