She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
