I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
