Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
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