Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
