bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
