grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
