now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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