The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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